Diagnosed with breast cancer at age 30, I felt like my whole life was falling apart. Every day was terrifying and I knew that my life would NEVER be the same. Everything felt different and the idea of being sick and dying consumed me. I had a favorable prognosis but no one ever wants to hear the C word. Determined to get through it without skipping a beat, I went full speed ahead. I had a great job, a loving boyfriend, great friends, and a family that would stick by my side through it all. But, as I went through my journey, I lost things, I lost people, and most of all I started to lose myself. It’s funny how that fight or flight mode kicks in as soon as it needs to. I chose to fight while I really wanted to flee and somedays I tried. Just when I thought things were getting better, something else would come and knock me down. Through every type of loss, heartache, and heartbreak I continued to persevere. I always knew I was strong but this year truly tested my resilience. Follow my reflection of a year of pain, but incredible growth. A year of “what the actual fuck is happening? is this real life? is it me? It sure is always something.